Your Arms

Constant sorrow and searching within
At every turn lies another dead end.
Give up on love before the rush of the fall,
Walk away and wash my hands of it all.
How can you see me if I can't see myself?
How can you love when there's nothing left?

It feels like home wrapped up in your arms.
Draw me near.
Dry my tears.
Calm my fears.
Hold me and never let go.

It wasn't until I turned from myself,
That I found me in someone else.
Before you came I turned my back on possibility,
I had the wings, but it was you that set me free.
I'm at the point of total surrender, the point of no return.
Stripping it down and baring it all, so much left to learn.

It feels like home wrapped up in you arms.
Draw me near.
Dry my tears.
Calm my fears.
Hold me and never let go.

I fall victim, you expose and complete,
An enduring love, an effortless feat.
Decisions made simple, choices become clear,
My world in black and white whenever you are near.
You take me as I come, a scarred and hesitant heart,
You want what is left to take and leave your mark.

It feels like home wrapped up in your arms.
Draw me near.
Dry my tears.
Calm my fears.
Hold me and never let go...

Calm my fears.
Hold me and never let go....

Hold me and never let go.



"Stay with me; don't be afraid... You will be safe with me."
-1 Samuel 22:23

Drowning In Your Memory

Scattered thoughts and a weary heart lead me astray,
In a world of dead ends, it's hard not to lose my way.
Twisted, tangled thoughts in my head,
The face of my truth disguised by fear and dread.
I run from my pain, at every turn I find you,
Your memory haunts in a race I run to lose.
Stars shine, planets a line, I am lost in a moment,
Try to change, rearrange, to get you off my mind.

Like a shot in the dark, you have left your mark.
To free myself of you is impossible to do.
Emotions pour down like rain, never free from the pain.
I'm drowning in your memory.

To be broken would be a blessing over the state I am in,
The wear and tear of my struggles have worn me thin.
How much must I endure before I break?
Pieces of me scattered in your wake.
The cracks deep within slowly begin to show,
The pain you left behind is worse than you'll know.
My walls are gone, destroyed from the inside out,
Love and happiness replaced by sorrow and self-doubt.

Like a shot in the dark, you have left your mark.
To free myself of you is impossible to do.
Emotions pour down like rain, never free from the pain.
I'm drowning in your memory.


"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word."
-Psalm 119:28

Crossroad

My sophomore year in high school our soccer team decided on a motto. "Enough is enough; it's time for a change". You see, back then we were on the brink of something great. Stepping up and falling short had become our mantra and we were sick of it. So, we made a decision that this season would be different; we would finally make the change. The result? State and National champions, 25-0-0. It was the perfect season, not only because we went undefeated, but because we accomplished what we set out to do and that was an amazing feeling. There are not many moments that I can look back on like the ones I had during that soccer season.

At this particular juncture in my life this pivotal experience from my past has come back to haunt me because this time I have not been so lucky as to encounter the "perfect season". I am 24 years old and living in Memphis, the city where I grew up. I own my own house and I have an amazing job with endless potential to grow and move up. I am surrounded by friends I have known my whole life, others that are just a car ride away, and practically my entire family, both sides. Perfect scenario right? The only problem is I still have not been able to find my happy place. I am like Happy Gilmore pre-Chubbs. Club throwing, old man fighting, jumping into lakes to find my only ball kind of frustration. Sure, there are definitely moments when I find joy in those around me and the experiences I gain from my life, but ultimately, I find myself wanting. It is only recently that I realized that this point in my life is much like our soccer season, only this time I am flying solo. I am stepping up and falling short time and time again when it comes to one very important thing, my happiness. I am on the brink of greatness...

I have to make a choice. I am standing at a crossroad. To my left, a fully paved, perfectly worn road flanked with sidewalks for my protection. It includes the life I currently lead full of "potential" happiness. And to my right is my road less traveled. The unknown. The adventure. It is a twist my ankle, skin my knee, cobble stone path disclosed by weeds, ivy, and over-hanging trees so much so that I can not see further than the twenty or so feet in front of me. I do not know what is down this road, but maybe that's the point.

To the left or to the right?

Security or adventure?

A steady hand or a leap of faith?

What will it be? Which path will I choose?

This is my crossroad. Now all I have to do is make a choice.





"This is what the LORD says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls..."
-Jeremiah 6:16

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
-Jeremiah 29:11-13