Another one bites the dust

Dun, da, da duuuunnnn... Introducing...

Mr. and Mrs. LaPlante

aka Daniel and Emily

aka Ficus and Em Gee...

One of my best friends got married over a month ago, September 19, 2009. Crazy... I can't believe this one is married. I am pretty sure she has been wanting to be married since she was about four. She said, and I quote, "I don't want to be engaged. I want to be married!" She is so funny. Needless to say she had like a four month engagement (maybe) before the wedding. It is still strange for some reason. She was like the baby of our group... Anyways, I posted some pictures from her bachelorette party, so I thought it was only appropriate to post a few from the wedding.

It was beautiful, she was BEAUTIFUL, and we had a blast. Before the wedding, the music in bridal room included two mix cd's of perfectly chosen love songs from the last, oh, twenty to thirty years created by the MOH along with my iPod and speakers blasting HSM3 songs. Yep, you ready correctly, HSM3. Me and Em's muy favorita. We did, in fact, recreate one of the dances from the movie. The bridal room was hopping!

The ceremony was perfect with Daniel in his army uniform and a wonderful crowd of family and friends. The reception began with the LaPlante's entering to "Eye of the Tiger" (die hard LSU and Memphis fans) and was made complete by a lot of dancing with little kids, a serenade of "You've Lost That Love and Feeling" from Daniel and one of his groomsmen who wore a cowboy hat that ended up on the bride (hilarious), and a circle of arm-clad bridesmaids with the bride in the middle singing (more like screaming) "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey. They left in the back of Daniel's truck, which had been decorated by the groomsmen, to an array of sparklers being waved through the air.

Emily and Daniel's day: amazing and completely memorable.

Until the next...


Rehearsal Dinner

Bridal Suite

The Roomies

From Fear to Faith

"If you will face life with faith, not fear, you will enjoy every day- no matter what life may bring."
-"Secrets of Happiness" by Michelle Medlock Adams

I think fear and faith are polar opposites; they compete in the battle for our hearts, for our lives. The devil feeds off and uses fear while God shines and rises up out of faith. Fear extinguishes faith like water to a fire. It takes constant and abrupt reminders, sparks in my heart, to acknowledge the power of my faith. Fear makes me forget, panic, and retreat, but faith is the breath of fresh air I need to be courageous.

Without my faith I would be in a constant state of running and hiding, and that is no way to live. It allows me to enact the "Carpe Diem" mantra and live a full and laughter-filled life by bringing out a sort of deep and pure happiness in which no other thing can compare. Nothing else in this life brings that exact smile to my face, that same form of peace to my heart, and that amount of confidence in myself. My faith allows me to live the kind of life I could otherwise only dream of.

I have always believed that faith steps in and provides reassurance when knowledge, understanding and reason leave me feeling hopeless and confused. I heard someone once say, "something in your midst but not fully recognized". I believe it to be Him... always. There have been so many times when I know the facts, but I have been too scared to realize their total impact. For example, I know the course of events leading up to and during the cross and resurrection, but I tend to forget the power available to me because of it. I am so wrapped up in me, my world, my actions, my situations, I forget there is something so much greater.

I am a complete Type A personality (anyone who knows me just smiled and maybe even laughed a little in agreement). Throughout my life the many facets of my personality have blessed me in a variety of ways. I will not begin to bore you with that side, but I have to say that being me has its many, many... many annoyances as well. There is probably no need to mention this seeing as y'all are the ones who deal with me, but as my own personal form of therapy and for the blog's sake...

It is hard for me to let someone else take over or to even recognize the need to relinquish control. I struggle with feeling the need to be the "planner". I love to be right, and I hate eating crow when I am not. I would rather have others placed in my hands than trust someone else to take care of me. I love to work under pressure and find it natural to take on a leadership role, so it is difficult for me to step in line and follow. My issue with following is that it requires a certain form of blind trust and that kind of faith is very hard for me. To truly and unequivocally trust someone, to fall backwards and be engulfed by a fate in which I have no control is definitely something I struggle with, but on the other hand…

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11, one of my favorite passages in the whole Bible. There is an endless amount of reassurance and certainty in that verse. It brings me so much hope, I guess that is why I love it so much. How can I be worried or scared or unsure when those words are right there plain as day?

But, if trusting in Him is what He asks of me, why am I so quick to say no? This is the hardest part for me to wrap my head around. Why do I say no... all day, every day? I am good at it. Really good. So good, in fact, that most of the time I do not even know I am saying it. I procrastinate and postpone, create excuses and explanations, and twist and turn around everything He is telling me. The other side of this coin of negativity is when I know exactly what I am doing and I do it anyway! I don't know which side is worse. Not knowing so that I am not able to change or knowing and not having the will to change. How is it that I can continually convince myself that this is all okay?

One of the greatest challenges about stepping out for the Lord and following through with His plans (however small or large they may be) is removing myself from the pedestal I have created. Resting confidently, high above anything that could potentially knock me off, I have to force myself down the steps, passing right by everything that provides me any form of comfort and support.

Step one: control… gone.
Step two: timing… no more on my watch.
Step three: leading… learn to follow.
Four, five, six...

The steps seem never ending. I reach without knowing when my foot will hit solid ground. It is like that trust fall game we all used to play when we were younger at church and sports camps or the one when we would lay on our stomachs and close our eyes, arms overhead, and then slowly they would be lowered so it felt like we were going through the floor... yeah, freaky every single time.

Where is the bottom? I am I supposed to know?

Maybe not...

(Remember what I said earlier about me and trust? This is where it gets hard)

How it usually works is I want to do things my way, on my time. That is what I expect. It is just the way I am wired. The good part about my way and my time is I know what will come of it and when. I am in control. The bad part is I am left with a limited span of expectations and results that are not always good. God's way is and will always be greater. His way may not always be easy, but God's leadership will forever and always take us where we need to be (even if we do not see it that way at first). I have to hoist Him up and watch the me I know crumble to my knees, proof of His strength and my weakness.

His leadership is sometimes ordinary, sometimes magnificent, but it is always reliable. His abilities are not in question. What is uncertain is whether I have the courage to follow Him.

"...we need to be willing to do what God asks us to do- no matter what... Trust God and listen for His quiet urgings."
-"Secrets of Happiness" by Michelle Medlock Adams

What I have come to realize is that God does not act alone, although He could. He acts through everyone and everything around me. He uses us. He wants us to be free, and He wants to use us to set others free. God calls and then He equips and provides. He accompanies us on the journey which allows us not only to survive, but to thrive under His wings. What I find amazing is how people's lives can be intricately intertwined and yet completely independent according to God's plan for us. We step in and out of people's stories all the time. Sometimes it matters to them, sometimes to us, but if we are truly fortunate we will both be affected according to His will.

One of the most frustrating things to me is that I do not have the ability to see all aspects of any given situation, and even worse, I am blinded by the disillusionment that sometimes I can. No matter how broad our views, how open our minds, or how flexible our opinions, we are still more limited than God. He never meant for me to see my life from every angle. It is for Him to reveal to me as He chooses. My life is the greatest mystery of all with one small difference; I know the ending. Sometimes it is not getting from one place to another, but about the journey along the way.

Here's the thing- eventually, God brings each of us to his or her own desert. You may experience one long one or you may feel like your entire life has been a bunch of little tiny deserts strung together. You may be in one now, coming out of one, or just about to enter yours. However it is, was, or is going to be for you, we can all relate. The beauty of it is even though we have much to learn while we are there, He will always show us the way out. And, step by step, as we make our way through, He gives us the understanding and reassurance of knowing we are exactly where He wants and needs us to be. He knows the plan and that is enough. Nothing else really matters.

Fannie Crosby wrote, "All the way my savior leads me".

So simple. So beautiful. So difficult to do.

The point of life is not to know the future because then we would think we had all the answers. The point is to step into the future with a faith of knowing God is in control. Choose faith, not fear. Allow yourself to be used.


"Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."
-1 Peter 5:9

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
-1 Timothy 6:12

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong."
-1 Corinthians 16:13

Emily's Bachelorette Bootcamp

One of my best friend's in the whole world, Emily, is getting married on Saturday, September 19th. I am lucky enough to be a part of the grand affair, and I can not wait! Over Labor Day weekend we went to the beach for her bachelorette party. We had a BLAST!!! Because Em is marrying an army man, the theme of the weekend was "Emily's Bachelorette Bootcamp". The camo shirts I had made turned out incredible. I wanted to post some of the pictures to show everyone. So much fun! I can not wait until the big day! Until then...

Click here to view these pictures larger

In It Not Of It

Highs and lows.
Longing. Searching.
Work to be done.
Easily sidetracked.
Derailed from my goal.
Days, months, years.
Finding my way...

slowly, but surely.





The reality of my existence is that I am selfishly more aware of myself than I am of God. A straight and narrow path has been graciously laid before me, like a red carpet unrolled at a star-studded award show, to give me a chance at a full and complete life. The problem is that I am so easily deterred from this "GPS-esk route" that I create detours complete with twisting side roads and dark, dangerous alleys. Whether it is for minutes, days, or years, because I am taught to live solely by reason, logic, and emotions instead of by God's word, I am bound to get lost; that much is inevitable.

A speaker I heard a few weeks ago at my church whose lecture was titled, "Hearing God's Voice in a Noisy World", said, "God speaks clearly, creatively. Man speaks and makes decisions by what he sees and hears. This is the wrong gauge to know the truth. We need to make decisions and live on the word of God." If I listen to these worldly decision-making standards long enough they will become mental habits, and we all know how hard habits are to break. Passing thoughts turn into addictive habits which eventually turn into lifestyles... I have to break the pattern. I have to use God and lean on Him.

Living a life consumed by worldly "addictions" disallows me the freedom that God sent His son to die for on the cross. I have to discipline my mind to thwart off these thoughts and discern God's voice amongst the deafening noise of the world; meditate over the Bible, read the religious books, pray to God like He is my best friend. The other side to the coin is that sometimes it is not only about asking God for help, but also about the discipline I must require of myself. I need to step up and step out and be someone God can use. Take responsibility for changing myself through and with God. Thoughts can and will become addictions if I do not break the pattern.

My pastor once said in a sermon that "God is more concerned by the root of our behavior than the actions themselves. When our heart is right our behavior has to follow". Okay, so if I am innately damaged, as we all are, how then do I change my heart? Well, I think the answer is I don't.

Let go and let God, right?

In "Mere Christianity" C.S. Lewis writes, "We begin to notice, besides our particular sinful acts, our sinfulness; begin to be alarmed not only about what we do, but about who we are... I can to some extent control my acts: I have no direct control over my temperament. And if (as I said before) what we are matters even more than what we do- if, indeed, what we do matters chiefly as evidence of what we are- then it follows that the change which I most need to undergo is a change that my own direct, voluntary efforts cannot bring about. And this applies to my good actions too. How many of them were done for the right motive? How many for fear of public opinion or a desire to show off? How many from a sort of obstinacy or sense of superiority which, in different circumstances, might equally had led to some very bad act? But I cannot, by direct moral effort give myself new motives. After the first few steps in the Christian life we realize that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done only by God."

I can not help but act and react based on the way I feel; I am only human. It is how I am built. So often I try to change my life by conforming to the rules of the world, bettering myself according to its standards, when what I really need to do is let God change my heart. I can not try and manage my behavior. I have to change the root problem from the inside out. My actions, reactions, emotions, morals... my life... will follow. It has to.

Because the world is so enticing (and we all know how much so) it makes my flesh yearn for things I should not want and do not need. My flesh tells me that it has grown accustomed to something, so I will not take it away. It wines and complains until I give in. I am so weak. It happens every day. I convince myself that I need something when in reality I can live without it. In Romans 12:2, Paul states, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Until I stop conforming to the way of the world, I will never be able to know and understand God's will. There they are, the words for all to see. But can I do it?

All the time- surround myself.
Remember and review.
Recite, observe, and obey.
Love and live them out.
God uses disciplined people.

Romans 8:3-4 says, "For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit."

By following the ways of a constantly changing world, in turn, I am constantly changing. I am allowed no sense of self, no true identity. I end up a shadow of my former self, almost unrecognizable at times. I am always searching for the next thing when what I need to do is fix my eyes on Jesus and lock down my sense of self through Him. It is the greatest form of stability; firm and steardy ground to stand on for once in my life. Often I find myself lost and consumed in the world's shouting, so much so that I can not hear much less recognize God's voice. It becomes distorted, muffled, and slowly and steadily fades into the background of my chaotic life. Pretty soon it will be completely nonexistent and then what? Who will reign over my heart?

I have to find a balance. I have to figure out a way to walk life's tight rope, the ultra fine sharpie sized line drawn down the middle of my path which allows me to be in the world and not of the world. I can not allow myself to become a part of the world's makeup. God tells us that "there will be trials and tribulations, but take heart... I have overcome the world and so you too can over come the world" (John 16:33).

This verse pack a big punch. Simply stated, I have a chance. We have a chance. By God sending His son, we have a shot at overcoming a disappointing, disheartening, and challenging world. Limitless hope. Freedom from physical bondage. A new place with a new heart and a new start. It is the only way.

HOPE.

God's greatest gift in the form of His son.

HOPE.

A sweet release from life's pressures, disappointments, and all the baggage we have collected over the years. On our own there is no way for this to happen, but there is one reason: God. He works in each of us and changes us in such an unique and different way, but for one common purpose... His will.

But, here's the kicker; we have to decide to do it. The negative is so consuming it is sometimes hard to breathe. Sometimes I need to take a step back, take a breath and realize what it is I have to do. (I do this constantly.) Do not let yourself become so engulfed and overwhelmed by the things around you that you miss out on why God has you there in the first place. We are not here to be overwhelmed. "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me." (Psalm 138:7)

Stop. Breathe. Recognize. Refresh. Restore.

We may not always be looking for God, but God is always reaching for us.

He is always with us. He is always with us. HE IS ALWAYS WITH US.

If God is for us, who can be against us? We are loved by God and He will provide limitless resources to live out our lives to His utmost. Only through His son dying on the cross are we provided with such a limitless hope. How can any of us survive and thrive without hope? Without Him I have no shot at winning the battle for my spiritual life. We have a chance, but only if we choose to take what He is offering.

My sister, Erin, recently attended a church in Los Angeles that she loved. She emailed our family a link for the sermon from a few weeks ago. The crazy part about it was that it went along perfectly with my blog. So, I decided to include the link to the sermon in case anyone else is interested in listening to it. It is titled "The Distracted Life".

Same perspective, different words. Enjoy.

http://feeds2.feedburner.com/AT_SUN

***I say all of this as a reminder to myself. In no way, am I trying to preach to or teach anyone because that would mean I know what I am doing, and I do not. I am constantly learning, and even though, at times, I feel like I know what to think and say, this in no way means I follow my own advice all the time. Like I said, I am still learning. I am any great designer's worst nightmare... a never ending work in progress. Like I said before, these words are meant for me, but if anyone else can get something out of them, that makes it even better.***

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."
- 1 John 4:4

God's Masterpiece

In April, my friend Karen and I went to the Grand Canyon in Arizona. I added the location because I am finding out that a lot of people do not know it is in Arizona- I didn't before our trip. We went horseback riding, hiked in the South and West Rims, rafted 43 miles down the Colorado River, climbed up and into caves, and rode in a helicopter over the West Rim. Feeling adventurous and being limited on time, we hiked to the bottom of the canyon, along the Colorado River, and back up to the top, around 16 miles, in nine hours or so- a.k.a. one day. Yes, we are crazy. Being a veteran college soccer player, I can honestly say there have been few times in my life I have ever been that exhausted, that blistered, and that cranky (Karen, thanks for putting up with me). It was touch and go for a while there. Parts of that hike are fuzzy and other parts I can't remember at all... seriously. My body went into what I deemed as "autopilot in overdrive". I had no control over my legs or my brain.





For whatever reason, I had the song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller in my head, and it was on loop. Anyone walking beside me (between all the huffing and puffing and crazy-talk mumbling under my breath) would have heard an AMAZING, angelic-like voice singing,

"I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord"



I am pretty sure the words I marked in bold are the reason for its burned resignation in my brain on that hike, that and the fact that I LOVE that song. I probably sounded like a crazy person babbling along like that. It definitely kept me going during the not so pleasant points on the hike... but enough with the bad.

Here I come with the utterly amazing reasons why it was completely worth it. I will ever so respectfully attempt to string together a description worthy of the picturesque beauty I had the good fortune of experiencing. I use the word experience because that is exactly what it was; you don't just see the Grand Canyon. Also, I will try and explain how it made me feel.

Bare with me...

There is something completely overwhelming about approaching a view in which every step forward makes you feel like it is closing in around you; you feel swallowed up by the unique splendor and surreal purity of it all. Every step contributes a new sight. Every breath adds a new feeling. Everything and everyone fades into the background. All the sounds become white noise. All of your worries absolutely disappear. Nothing matters except being in the moment, of the moment, and letting the experience take you where it will. This was how I felt when I was exposed to the glorious masterpiece that is the Grand Canyon.

The multitude of colors ran together with a fluid consistency. Almost as if doing a dance, purple, orange, pink, brown, red, grey, blue, green, and white all ceased to exist individually and creatively blended together to make the horizon look like one large canvas. The sky folded into the mountains, hills, and valleys. The depths of the gorges were unimaginable. From a far they looked like small notches, nooks and cranny's, even cracks that I could step over without batting an eye. But, when hovering directly above them, peering over an edge, their depths made me dizzy.




Halfway down the canyon, The Colorado River, with its deep emerald green water and small white caps, peeped through two mountains exposing only enough of itself to keep me trudging on. The trails were crafty with just enough traction to encourage me to proceed and yet enough downward grade to keep me humble. The trees and plants were sparse, but noticeable, and the wildlife was feisty. We were attacked by not one, not two, but three squirrels on two separate occasions. One had me climbing up the side of the mountain- it was viscous! It was the size of a cat, at least, that is how I remember it.







The evil squirrel!

Although exhaustion continually and explicitly assaulted our bodies, curiosity, determination and a lack of transportation out of the canyon formed the triad which pushed us forward. We wanted to see everything or at least as much as our eyes and camera lens' could absorb in a day. Even with the necessary man made improvements and enhancements, there were very few reminders of life as we know it which was refreshing. The weather was pretty close to perfect aside from the 5:30am freezing cold sunrise.



We went from cold to hot and back to cold from top to bottom to top again. The two southern, sun-loving girls who started out bundled up like snow bunnies quickly reverted to our roots wearing nothing more than shorts, tees, and sunglasses.


After about six and a half hours into our journey with the weight of my head completely out of my control, my sights consisted solely of my feet in their unlaced Asics, now brown from the hike, and the constantly changing terrain beneath them. This would not normally be worthy of noting, but seeing as we walked on everything from packed red clay speckled with boulders to suction cup brown and tan sand to unstable, multi shaped pebbles to plain old dirt, I felt the need to share. Every bit of the nine and some odd hours was amazingly beautiful and horribly painful. Lucky for us, beauty trumps pain every time.






Bob Dylan wrote, "Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain." Absolutely. So, why is it that most beautiful sights, songs, paintings, things in general spring out of a painful experience? Why is it that we express ourselves best during the aftermath of a heart wrenching trial? I am definitely not here to try and answer that doozy, but only to say that I am thankful for the pain if I will always and forever get to experience what it brings about.

The more deep the pain... the more rich the experience... the more complete the outcome.

I think that God has a way of speaking to people in various ways. It is how He subtly guides us through life. I love how He allows us to think we are in control, but it is actually the complete opposite and thank goodness for that. We are allowed just enough confidence in ourselves and conviction in our choices without the overpowering stress attached to full control. He is the ultimate balancing act with our lives on the scale. He mostly whispers and when necessary shouts, but He always gently escorts us with a steady hand resting assuredly on our backs.

Well, on this particular trip to the Grand Canyon, I can say with the up most confidence that He was shouting. The deafening silence of His words portrayed through the glorious splendor of the Arizona desert was breath-taking and eye-watering. I am thankful to have seen it, but even more, I am thankful to have been open enough to realize and experience the beautiful truth behind it.

Grand Canyon- check that off my list.

Well done, God. Seriously, well done.


"Your eyes will see the king in his beauty and view a land that stretches afar."
-Isaiah 33:17

"...perfect in beauty, God shines forth."
-Psalm 50:2

















I posted some of my pictures from my trip (granted these are only a few of the hundreds I took) because like my sister, Erin, said in her blog, "you have to go see it for yourself, then we can talk about it."