God's Masterpiece

In April, my friend Karen and I went to the Grand Canyon in Arizona. I added the location because I am finding out that a lot of people do not know it is in Arizona- I didn't before our trip. We went horseback riding, hiked in the South and West Rims, rafted 43 miles down the Colorado River, climbed up and into caves, and rode in a helicopter over the West Rim. Feeling adventurous and being limited on time, we hiked to the bottom of the canyon, along the Colorado River, and back up to the top, around 16 miles, in nine hours or so- a.k.a. one day. Yes, we are crazy. Being a veteran college soccer player, I can honestly say there have been few times in my life I have ever been that exhausted, that blistered, and that cranky (Karen, thanks for putting up with me). It was touch and go for a while there. Parts of that hike are fuzzy and other parts I can't remember at all... seriously. My body went into what I deemed as "autopilot in overdrive". I had no control over my legs or my brain.





For whatever reason, I had the song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller in my head, and it was on loop. Anyone walking beside me (between all the huffing and puffing and crazy-talk mumbling under my breath) would have heard an AMAZING, angelic-like voice singing,

"I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord"



I am pretty sure the words I marked in bold are the reason for its burned resignation in my brain on that hike, that and the fact that I LOVE that song. I probably sounded like a crazy person babbling along like that. It definitely kept me going during the not so pleasant points on the hike... but enough with the bad.

Here I come with the utterly amazing reasons why it was completely worth it. I will ever so respectfully attempt to string together a description worthy of the picturesque beauty I had the good fortune of experiencing. I use the word experience because that is exactly what it was; you don't just see the Grand Canyon. Also, I will try and explain how it made me feel.

Bare with me...

There is something completely overwhelming about approaching a view in which every step forward makes you feel like it is closing in around you; you feel swallowed up by the unique splendor and surreal purity of it all. Every step contributes a new sight. Every breath adds a new feeling. Everything and everyone fades into the background. All the sounds become white noise. All of your worries absolutely disappear. Nothing matters except being in the moment, of the moment, and letting the experience take you where it will. This was how I felt when I was exposed to the glorious masterpiece that is the Grand Canyon.

The multitude of colors ran together with a fluid consistency. Almost as if doing a dance, purple, orange, pink, brown, red, grey, blue, green, and white all ceased to exist individually and creatively blended together to make the horizon look like one large canvas. The sky folded into the mountains, hills, and valleys. The depths of the gorges were unimaginable. From a far they looked like small notches, nooks and cranny's, even cracks that I could step over without batting an eye. But, when hovering directly above them, peering over an edge, their depths made me dizzy.




Halfway down the canyon, The Colorado River, with its deep emerald green water and small white caps, peeped through two mountains exposing only enough of itself to keep me trudging on. The trails were crafty with just enough traction to encourage me to proceed and yet enough downward grade to keep me humble. The trees and plants were sparse, but noticeable, and the wildlife was feisty. We were attacked by not one, not two, but three squirrels on two separate occasions. One had me climbing up the side of the mountain- it was viscous! It was the size of a cat, at least, that is how I remember it.







The evil squirrel!

Although exhaustion continually and explicitly assaulted our bodies, curiosity, determination and a lack of transportation out of the canyon formed the triad which pushed us forward. We wanted to see everything or at least as much as our eyes and camera lens' could absorb in a day. Even with the necessary man made improvements and enhancements, there were very few reminders of life as we know it which was refreshing. The weather was pretty close to perfect aside from the 5:30am freezing cold sunrise.



We went from cold to hot and back to cold from top to bottom to top again. The two southern, sun-loving girls who started out bundled up like snow bunnies quickly reverted to our roots wearing nothing more than shorts, tees, and sunglasses.


After about six and a half hours into our journey with the weight of my head completely out of my control, my sights consisted solely of my feet in their unlaced Asics, now brown from the hike, and the constantly changing terrain beneath them. This would not normally be worthy of noting, but seeing as we walked on everything from packed red clay speckled with boulders to suction cup brown and tan sand to unstable, multi shaped pebbles to plain old dirt, I felt the need to share. Every bit of the nine and some odd hours was amazingly beautiful and horribly painful. Lucky for us, beauty trumps pain every time.






Bob Dylan wrote, "Behind every beautiful thing there's been some kind of pain." Absolutely. So, why is it that most beautiful sights, songs, paintings, things in general spring out of a painful experience? Why is it that we express ourselves best during the aftermath of a heart wrenching trial? I am definitely not here to try and answer that doozy, but only to say that I am thankful for the pain if I will always and forever get to experience what it brings about.

The more deep the pain... the more rich the experience... the more complete the outcome.

I think that God has a way of speaking to people in various ways. It is how He subtly guides us through life. I love how He allows us to think we are in control, but it is actually the complete opposite and thank goodness for that. We are allowed just enough confidence in ourselves and conviction in our choices without the overpowering stress attached to full control. He is the ultimate balancing act with our lives on the scale. He mostly whispers and when necessary shouts, but He always gently escorts us with a steady hand resting assuredly on our backs.

Well, on this particular trip to the Grand Canyon, I can say with the up most confidence that He was shouting. The deafening silence of His words portrayed through the glorious splendor of the Arizona desert was breath-taking and eye-watering. I am thankful to have seen it, but even more, I am thankful to have been open enough to realize and experience the beautiful truth behind it.

Grand Canyon- check that off my list.

Well done, God. Seriously, well done.


"Your eyes will see the king in his beauty and view a land that stretches afar."
-Isaiah 33:17

"...perfect in beauty, God shines forth."
-Psalm 50:2

















I posted some of my pictures from my trip (granted these are only a few of the hundreds I took) because like my sister, Erin, said in her blog, "you have to go see it for yourself, then we can talk about it."

The Power of Perspective

In his book "Theirs Is The Kingdom", Robert Lipton states, "Not even Christianity is exempt from its harsh truth. Our faith clearly does not measure up to the claims of its popular promoters. Hidden behind the promise of peace is warfare; concealed amidst the assurances of hope is plaguing doubt. And in the shadow of great joy stands a cross... Integrity and deceit, growth and brokenness, affection and hostility. They are the realities of life in the field where I live and work. To deny any aspect is to miss the full measure of life. The assurance of a good harvest in the fullness of time is enough to make the joys satisfying and the pain tolerable."

I often find myself, like so many others I'm sure, wandering aimlessly through a self-created wilderness; drudging knee deep through emotions of doubt, pity, and loneliness. Sad, but very true. However, what I have come to realize is the trying, emotionally draining, seemingly hopeless times are the reason for my colorful outlook on life. Without the good and the bad experiences, I would not have the ability or knowledge to decide my perspective. My life would consist solely of aimless wandering and the permeation of true sadness. What is great about all of this is I am choosing to live a different way. Now, don't get me wrong. It is not easy and I screw up A LOT, but what choices that are truly worth it are ever easy? So, like I said, I am making a choice...

I want to see the best in people, so they can see the best in me. I want to view my problems as small, so not to become overwhelmed and burdened by them. I want to laugh, love, and appreciate more so that the anger, tears, and doubt are suffocated and become few and far between. I want to pay attention to everything, so I miss out on nothing. I want to believe in myself as much as I believe in others. I want to dream deeper and larger than life; to do more and be more, so I am never scared to take a leap of faith. I want to overcome my fears, so I am able to help others become fearless; fall backwards into darkness simply for the thrill of it. Fear and uncertainty lose their grip if I give them nothing to hold on to. But above all, I want to constantly share and show the depths of my faith in order to inspire others to believe.

Everything matters. Everyone matters. I want to live as so.

Through every one of my experiences, all of the ups and downs, the laughter and tears, the achievements and failures, the loves and losses, the places and people, I have been slowly designing a uniquely beautiful and strangely complex outlook on life with Jesus as my anchor. The kicker is that even though my surroundings and experiences create this thing called a life, I still have the ability to make alterations. I can not always control my surroundings, but I can prevent them from controlling me.

While sitting shotgun in this emotional roller coaster, I get an up close and personal encounter with the realization that my choices allow me to determine my outlook. Like Mr. Lipton said, without enduring the entire spectrum that life has to offer, I would never know about this wonderful blessing called a choice. My happiness is ultimately up to me. What doesn't kill me truly does make me stronger. Life's many circumstances are, for the most part, uncontrollable, but my negative reactions toward them are completely avoidable.

The most powerful part of recognizing perspective as a choice is it allows me appreciate every experience, good and bad, that I encounter while ever so elegantly stumbling along life's path...

I walk a little ways, trip on something that came out of no where, catch my balance, and stand up with a smile on my face thinking I just dodged a bullet... only to fall face first into a puddle of mud. So is life.

But here is the beauty of it...

Recently, when life's most current affliction reared its ugly head, I was overcome with a strange feeling. As certain as I was about the reason for the tears streaming down my face, I realized why it needed to happen, why God made it happen. I was thankful for every one of those little drops and the horse they rode in on! My pain, although it still hurt like ever, was easier to understand and manage.

Even better, when I really dig deep and am extremely fortunate, I am able to appreciate my pain. I learn and grow from it. Laughter becomes more rich, accomplishments more memorable, and faith more fulfilling and sustaining than ever. The small things that would normally go unnoticed power their way into moments worthy of remembering. Something as small as riding my bike at sunrise, wind blowing in my hair, sun shining on my face, with the words of a Sugarland song making me grin like a kid on Christmas morning affects me. Why does that even matter to me? I guess because I want it to. I am choosing for it to matter.

It's why I love laughing so hard I cry and start in with the "silent laugh" so that it sounds like I am choking. Or why warm sheets, coffee in the morning, the moment right before I go to sleep, Friday's excitement for the weekend, lounging on a boat on the lake, sitting on a balcony overlooking the ocean, the moment right after my soccer team scores a goal, laughing about dreams remembered, seeing a friend's face or hearing her voice while she tells me she is engaged or pregnant, running with my dog, a friend's crazy laugh, first date nerves, friendly faces in the Grove on a home football weekend, and an addicting vampire book series never get old.

Favorite movies I could watch on repeat that no one else seems to enjoy, quotes from songs and Bible verses that I write all over my desk and bedroom, and landscapes so breathtaking I could stare for hours all bring me such joy. I feel so blessed that I have realized how to allow the little things to have an impact on my life. It is up to me to decide how I feel, and I continually thank God that He trusts me to make that choice.

Having the ability to determine my perspective is an absolutely beautiful thing.

Choose wisely...

"A devout life does bring wealth, but it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God."
-1 Timothy 6:6

"Do not sorrow for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
-Nehemiah 8:10

"Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
-Psalm 51:12